It’s August 3. That means I’m in the final countdown to the end of my stay here. I go home next week. And I’ve been feeling a lot of fear… Fear that once I get home, real life will take over and I’ll go right back to my old ways: glued to my desk chair for the better part of ten or more hours straight, putting work ahead of my health, telling myself I can’t take or make the time to exercise, eating unhealthfully, either by eating the wrong things for me, eating too much of the right things, eating when I’m not hungry, eating when I’m nervous or upset, or eating just to be social. The other thing I’m scared about is going right back to my old tense self. I’ve been so relaxed and balanced here, I’m afraid that being back in the real world, all the usual stressers will take over again and I won’t be able to keep my perspective on things.
I just have to remember that I’ve been keeping mental and actual notes about the healthy habits I’ve hopefully acquired here and hope like heck that I’ll have the strength and discipline to do the right thing at the right time – even when that means walking AWAY from work, taking a break with a friend, or postponing cleaning the house until after a walk around the block. These are the kinds of things you would think would be easy to do, but for me, work is a much more comfortable default mode and I actually have to nudge myself toward the pleasurable, the relaxing, and the balancing aspects of a healthy daily routine. Wish me luck.